Forbes January 25, 2026
Reassurance-seeking is one of the most misunderstood emotional habits in popular discourse, especially in how it relates to self-worth. It is often framed as insecurity or neediness, but psychologically, it can be better understood as a regulation strategy. In other words, when you ask for reassurance, you’re not necessarily asking for approval; you’re trying to make your nervous system feel safe.
The problem is that reassurance only works briefly. Research shows that external validation reduces distress in the moment but reinforces dependence over time. And when that relief fades, the need for reassurance returns even stronger.
As a result of this see-saw tendency, when a person’s self-worth relies on reassurance, it stays in a tentative, fragile state — because it...
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